Pity Party

All right, I'll just be out with it. In the past months of blog posts, I have tried to avoid outright complaining. "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." Notice those longs stretches when I posted nothing but political analysis news articles? I was trying to keep my mouth closed and my blog relatively positive, so that I can look back on this time with rosy nostalgia. What an adventure for the young couple! How interesting and exciting, for Teresa to have an opportunity to explore yet another continent! What a fascinating experience, to live in Asia at a time when much of the world's economic and intellectual resources are shifting eastward!

I could do a post outlining the scientific studies on "culture shock", which is considered a valid and real experience for emmigrants. I certainly have considerably more empathy and respect for those who endeavor emmigration to America. English is a near-indescipherable language and most Americans' outright aggressiveness would be a shock (and will probably be challenging for us, when we go through "reverse culture shock"). My opinions have solidified about the dubiosity of legalizing an official "national language". The truth is, migration happens for many reasons and immigration will increase dramatically in the coming decades, due to economic inequalities, environmental climactic change, and warfare. It will be a major factor in the 21st Century, and we should make the most of it.

All that being said, I am tired. I am tired of my heart being stretched by sending love-messages across oceans. I am tired of constantly asking myself, in the face of cultural differences, "should I change to accommodate, or hold steady to my own culture?" I am tired of a year filled with the most significant (and disparate!) health issues in my life. I miss natural foods stores. I am tired of bad beer, white bread, and processed cheese. I am tired of being asked "How long will you stay in Japan?" -- i.e., when will you leave? I am tired of Japanese pop -- wait, no, I still think J-pop is hilarious. . . But I am tired of paying $200/month for a heating bill and still seeing my breath indoors. I am tired of feeling so indebted to my supervisor, who sacrifices so much to help illiterate-helpless me. I miss worshiping and singing in spiritual community. And I am so so so sad to be far away from my family and friends, who have had to wave goodbye to me on all these crazy adventures.