"Feet" (or, "On the Edge of 30")

When I was 20 I got a tattoo in Cape Town. The tattoo is a right footprint, also designed to look like the shape of the African continent. While living in South Africa I spent a lot of alone time on the beach, just watching my footprints melt into the sand. I thought about my place in the world: a priveledged American, a white person, a person of incredible relative wealth, a victim of violence, a student, a developing leader, a spiritual being, a woman learning to choose, a daughter, a writer, a singer, a teacher, a lover, a friend. Walking forward.

For most of my twenties, I couldn't feel my feet. Literally. Sometimes it was just my feet, but sometimes the lack of sensation went all the way up to my waist. It wasn't a problem, really, and only something that I noticed during massage or other body work. My massage therapist (best friend) and my acupuncturists were usually more concerned about it than I. Perhaps the twice-monthly acupuncture helped. Got the 'juice', the 'chi', moving.


And then, a couple years ago, Nick and I decided to be in committed relationship. We immediately knew it was "it", the thing, fer seriousness. ;) Yet we decided we needed more adventure in life and wanted to see more of the world; we moved to Japan for a year. We saw a bit of Asia and a lot of ourselves. And now we're moving "back". Next week we leave here, via Taipei and Omaha, to move to Minnesota. We imagine we will stay in Minnesota to build a home. Put down roots. Dig our feet in. You know, settle. I'm not really sure what that will feel like because I've never felt settled before. Even in my relatively stable childhood in Omaha, or my eight years in Portland, I was always ready to go.



And here's the interesting part: I can feel my feet! Of course my left foot still hurts from the injury in January. But I can also feel my right foot! The last few months of bodywork (Japanese acupuncture and shiatsu) have been enlightening, whole-body experiences. So I wonder what this increased sensation is all about? Is it all the walking and bike riding and physical rehab? Is it the acupuncture?

Or is that I am starting to sprout roots down there? Here comes 30...