Wedding Rings!

It's so exciting! We now have beautiful pieces of art, symbolizing our love and commitment, which we can wear every day! Here's the long, maybe-not-so-interesting-to-you-as-it-is-to-us, story of our search for rings.

When still in college, I used to go with my girlfriends Trisha and Karin to the mall to buy socks and underwear and bad Chinese food, and sometimes look at rings. I always had a bit of a hard time finding stuff at the mall, even at this age, that I liked. I looked at 'eternity bands' and other things that didn't stick up out from the band. I like to DO stuff with my hands; a manicure never lasts more than a few hours. And I tend to gesture a lot when I talk. So, you know, for the sake of avoiding injurious gesticulation, it's probably best for 'my ring' to be inlaid or simple.

While living in Portland, I occasionally window-shopped for pretty jewelry in antique shops or super-sleek-schmancy stores. I was interested in both antiques and the modern stuff. Occasionally, N & I looked at stuff, some of which I maybe liked:






Then in Japan I noticed that many married women and men don't wear rings. If Japanese women do wear rings, it's usually an unadorned band or maybe a tiny little stone. In comparison, Americans seem really flamboyant and materialistic (with everything from rings to cars to homes). While living there, we chose a simple engagement ring with a modern little bend; it's sweet and uncomplicated; my hand still fits in my pocket and I don't worry about wearing the ring while making bread. I like it. We shopped around for men's and women's wedding bands, and I came to really like a modern ring by the same designer as my engagement ring:

I liked that it was channel-set (is that what it's called?) and that it had a bend in the band, similar to my engagement ring. So we tried really hard to buy this ring while in Japan, actually. We went to the jewelry store multiple times and attempted to ask questions in our terrible Japanese. We got the website of the designer and called and emailed to ask questions. All to no avail, sadly. We wanted to know basic stuff, like: 1) Where is the diamond mined from? 2) do you sell conflict-free diamonds or Moissanites or cultured diamonds? 3) What guarantees are there on the setting, and what would we do if the diamond falls out? 4) Do you have customer service in the United States? Questions 1-2 were the most concerning, as I generally believe that mainstream Japanese society doesn't know or care much about social equity and justice issues. (Sadly, that's my perspective after living there a year.) So we returned to America with photos and catalogues, but no wedding bands.

A few months into our tiny little apartment here, we were sick of our giant bedroom dresser from craigslist and decided we simply MUST get another one. I shopped around and determined that I can't afford any new furniture that isn't crap, so decided to search the antique stores. One day, on a lovely little trip to Stillwater, Minnesota, we found and purchased a fantastic dresser set at the antique mall there. And, while we were there, happened to swing by the antique jeweler and try on most everything he had. Pretties! Usually I only find one or two rings that I like, but this jeweler really knows how to pick em; I loved several. However, we spent all our savings on dressers and didn't make a purchase.

Or so I thought. In a recent distressed conversation regarding our wedding budget, I despaired to Nick that maybe we wouldn't be able to afford wedding rings at all. I was in tears; will we able to have the wedding reception at the hall? Can we feed people? We can't even afford rings!!! (I can tend to get myself in a tizzy, you know.) Quietly, steadily, he replied: I bought our rings this week from Stillwater. Yours will be ready on Friday.

Surprise and hooray! I love love love the one he choose. What a good, dependable guy I have. His earth and water personality is a wonderful balance to my fire and wind.

I like that we choose antique: it was mined a while ago (90 years ago?), and likely worn by someone with a very, very long marriage. Reusing is good. I hope that I might gain insight and inspiration in my marriage from this previous woman's ring. It has good energy. I'll probably continue to wear my engagement ring until the wedding day, and then wear this one from then on. I don't want to wear two rings on the same finger, cuz that seems uncomfortable. One is enough. And no, I won't show a pic of my new ring, but here's a lovely moonset over the frozen river in Stillwater, Minnesota. What a great town!