A Kissiversary in Gratitude

It's our "Kissiversary" or "Annikissary"! Eight years ago TODAY was when Nick and I first kissed. Before we even met, I used to listen to his violin in the classroom next to my theology class, "Reality of God". We met at a LGBT pride event off-campus, where I was pleasantly surprised to learn that he played for my team. Nick charmed me with poetry written on scraps of paper. We had a sweet and brief romance in my last semester of college, before I moved across the continent. I am so glad we maintained a friendship. . . and reconnected in such a way! He is an incredible partner and I am so grateful.

I've been intending to share this with you all. Especially in these trying months since our accident(s), he has demonstrated remarkable patience. . . and domestic skills! I learned that being less-able really limited so many of the things I could do, and Nick was a hero as he stepped in to help. He packed my lunches and made my breakfast nearly every day, with lovenotes:



And on the mornings he left earlier for work than I, Nick carried my backpack to the entryway. He set out my coat, hat, gloves, lunch, and schoolbag so that I didn't need to carry anything. Amazing!



Living abroad has certainly been a challenging and unifying experience for us as a couple. This past weekend we experienced something rather comical. It was an enjoyable evening of karaoke with my fellow musicians from the G8 music project. As a night closer, it so happened that our last song was "Creep" by Radiohead. He sang it well. The lyrics are rather bitter, and perhaps this is a good theme song for January-February. We're feeling better now, but the irony was laughable:

"But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here"


Three cheers for my hero! Buy that man a beer, next time you see him!

(Some Good) Japanese Food

Onion rings on top of salad. How brilliant is that?!
I'm drinking an ume-sour. Ume (plum) wine is amazing.


The softcream flavors are blueberry (delicious, but tasted like strawberry) and black sesame. I have a current obsession with sesame anything.
The baked dish behind the ice creams is called a 'pizza' but is more of a potato gratin with tomato sauce. The ingredients included potatoes, corn, tomato sauce, cheese, and sliced ham.


I am surprised what American foods I crave. Whole-grain bread is currently at the top of the list, closely followed by organic valencia peanut butter. But my enjoyment of this brilliant popcorn-dorito-cheetos mix was indiscriminate of the amount of preservatives I ingested.


Sushi! Duh.
When we moved to Japan we were barely able to put down 4 plates, each. Most Japanese people can do 20-30 plates. There is a famous TV personality who can eat HUNDREDS of plates of sushi in one sitting, and SHE is less than 100 pounds. Now we're filling up on 10 plates and going for the gold.

The Good Samaritan

Attributed to the writings of Luke, in the New Testament:

On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. "Teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?" "What is written in the Law?" he replied. "How do you read it?" He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" "You have answered correctly," Jesus replied. "Do this and you will live." But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?"

In reply Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn in Jericho and took care of him. The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. 'Look after him,' he said, 'and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.'

"Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?"

The expert in the law replied, "The one who had mercy on him." Jesus told him, "Go and do likewise."

I`ve been thinking and talking a lot about this lately. Here is a summary of one differences that I see:

In America, people are rude but kind. Someone might push you over "if they had a good reason" but if you fall, someone would pick you up. Americans can be rude, confrontational and violent. Yet the "Good Samaritan" concept is definitely obvious in volunteerism, charitable donations, institutionalized social services, and random acts of kindness.

In Japan, people are polite but unkind. No one would ever push you over, but if you fell on your own no one would help you stand up again. People see someone in need and just walk on by. Japanese people think it is better if you get up on your own; leaving you to get up alone is less embarrassing and proves you are strong. In Japan there are strict rules about polite interaction, required greetings, gift exchange, and even a whole different conjugation of language used when speaking with someone higher on the hierarchy. There is no theft and very little corporate corruption. And yet the country does not prioritze social services, and charities are rare and underfunded. Citiczens do not wish to inconvenience one another or drain from the collective funds.

I talked with a Australian friend who has lived in Japan for a number of years. The other day at the gymn, she fell and was on the floor in pain for several minutes. Three women saw her fall but averted their eyes and didn`t offer help. The next day, confused and frustrated, she spoke with a Japanese coworker about the incident. He explained that perhaps the witnesses were flustered because she is a foreigner? Perhaps they thought she was embarrassed, and their silence was encouragement for her to get up on her own? The coworker was not surprised or apologetic for the ladies` actions: he thought this was culturally appropriate. However, the next week this same coworker fell on the busy streets of Sapporo and broke his ankle. No one offered to help him. Later my friend asked "don`t you wish that someone would have helped you?". He grunted in frustrated assent.



Post Script: I love the story of "The Good Samaritan". Yet I do not quote the Christian scriptures in order to say that Japan's lacking in kindness is necessarily related to its lacking in Christianity. On the contrary, many inhumane acts (war, murder, intolerance) have been committed in the name of the Christian religion. Buddhism, wide-spread in Japan, teaches intense self-reflection in the search for spiritual purity and compassion. I believe both Christianity and Buddhism can inform people toward a path of loving-kindness.

The Hairy Smelly Barbarian

This really is a foreign land, and there are plenty of opportunities to embarrass myself. Some examples:

1. In my first week in Furano, we were taken to meet the mayor. Quite an honor. I came bearing gifts, bowed and clumsily fumbled with the proper Japanese greetings. We sat to chat. The mayor was impressed to learn that morning I had already taken a stroll along the local Sorachi River. He said that Furano is known for its delicious water and lack of crows (because city services keep the trash picked up). I wasn't quite on my toes at that point and mentioned that I had seen several crows out on the river that very day. Disagreeing with the mayor was probably not the best first impression. . . but that water sure is delicious!

2. I was visiting my acupuncturist and went in to use the toilet. In Japanese homes they place little slippers in the toilet-room so that you don`t dirty your socks/feet by touching the floor. The slippers in the acupuncturist office are particularly fluffy and cute; I think they have cartoon characters on the toes. When I finished my business I forgot that I had the slippers on and walked out into the treatment room with the slippers still on! That is basically the most disgusting thing one could do.

3. Sometime just before our Thai vacation, my supervisor was aware that we were tight on money and apparently told his boss this fact. The boss, who is a weird-but-nice guy, paid for one of my expenses with the equivalent of $300, as a loan. I didn`t want the gift and as soon as I discovered the fact I withdrew $300 in new bills to return the money. I looked in the stationary section of the office supplies and chose a pretty little envelope. I placed the envelope on his desk and painstakingly wrote, in Japanese, `thank you very much`. There was some flurry in the office. A few hours later they asked me why I had put the envelope on my boss` desk, and I explained I was paying him back. Apparently the envelope I had chosen is specifically used for funerary gifts. When Japanese people give funerary gifts, they choose new bills if the death is unexpected. I laughed and apologized profusely. They didn`t really laugh. . . they just thought I was very very weird.

4. There is a teacher who I really like. She sings and I have attended one of her concerts at the local city hall. After the winter holiday vacation I noticed that she had gotten a very flattering new haircut. I was trying to compliment her on the haircut and said kawaii soo かわいいそお. I thought this meant `it is so cute`, but, unfortunately because of an irregular usage of this particular adjective, I actually said `wow, that is too bad`. The whole office stopped moving when I made the mistake, and the teacher`s face turned bright red. My JTE quickly corrected my mistake and everyone laughed. (I hope the teacher forgives me. . .)

5. I eat apples りんご, whole. This habit is not particularly noteworthy where I come from, but apparently Japanese people find this to be extremely distasteful. In Japan, if one eats an apple one cuts it into exacting pieces. I am unsure the gravity of my offense, but my students stare open-mouthed as I eat apples in the lunchroom. Here if one eats a mandarin orange みっかん, one carefully opens the peel in the shape of a flower, so that the flower-peel can be folded together and neatly discarded. As a general rule, people here do not eat raw vegetables. Our friend Ido has taken to purposely shocking his students by bringing a whole carrot to school lunch, and eating it like a horse.

This is "grassroots internationalization" at its best and worst.

A Day in the Life

A number of friends and family have asked "what the heck do you do there?" I guess I haven't been very descriptive about the day-to-day schedule of an eigo sensei えいごせんせい (English teacher).

I'll begin with some acronyms. I was hired through the JET (Japan Exchange and Teaching) Program. I am an ALT (Assistant Language Teacher) or AET (Assistant English Teacher). My position is to expose students to English and promote "grassroots internationalization" in the schools and larger community in which I live. In schools I work with JTE's (Japanese Teachers of English). My office base is at the BOE (Board of Education), where I report every day for work at 8:45. I pause at the door to offer a formal ohayoo gozaimasu おはいよございます(good morning).

The BOE is in a nice new building which shares space with the city library and various meeting and art exhibition spaces. I have twelve co-workers at the BOE, and I am invited/required to attend various parties and sporting events with them semi-regularly. Some of my BOE coworkers are semi-retired principals, but most are administrative employees with no direct experience working in education. Interestingly, the Superintendent of Education used to work as an architect; I don't know why he changed professions to some thing so different. Unlike many more rural BOE offices, our staff seem to be pretty busy. When I leave the BOE I announce at the door itte kimasu いってきます(I am going). From the BOE I walk or drive the BOE car to any of fourteen schools where I teach. In the autumn my learning curve was steep as I had to become familiar with many different outlying towns, schools, principals and teachers' expectations, and thousands of students.

Once I enter a school I first stop to take off my outside shoes and switch into inside shoes. If I happen to forget my inside shoes, I must wear vinyl slippers. Next I walk to the teacher's office and pause at the door to offer a formal ohaiyoo gozaimasu or konnichiwa こんいちわ(good afternoon/hello), as appropriate. I then take my seat at an empty desk near the JTE and we meet to review lesson plans for the day. Our goal is "team teaching", working off one another's skills. Or we chat, depending on our relationship. Most of my JTE's are very friendly and genuinely wish to have a relationship based on cultural/linguistic/human exchange. My relationships with my JTE's are really stimulating and sustaining in what is sometimes a lonely place. Only one or two of my JTE's are too busy or disinterested or racist to talk. Overall, I am really lucky with my work situation.

At the junior high schools I typically teach three classes a day. I eat lunch with the students in the classrooms, and also attend music or physical education classes just to have more fun with them. As for English classes, some teachers wish for me to use the whole period to "have fun" with the students. Other teachers give me 15 minutes for a fun-but-relevant activity. Sometimes I am simply utilized as a "human tape recorder" reading the text in the book and correcting pronunciation (this is the worst-case scenario, as it really doesn't use me efficiently nor does it get the students interested in English). For lesson plans I often use comics, music, card games, and Bingo.

If I am teaching at an elementary school I have the entire period to teach on my own. In our school district the elementary students are only exposed to English three times each school year, so I don't really get to know the teachers or students at these schools. But we sure do have fun! My lesson plans usually involve lots of music, physical activities and sensory games. Considering these kids know virtually no English, my job is to be Gesture Queen.

Upon leaving the schools I say a formal osaki ni shitsure shimasu おさきにしつれいします(please pardon me for leaving earlier than you), change my shoes, and hop back into the car. Some of the schools are five minutes away, and some are forty minutes from Furano City. I return to the BOE to do lesson plans for the next day. . . or read the newspaper/blog/email. My day ends between 4:30 and 5:30, when I leave the office again apologizing for my early departure.

In the evenings, life is usually quiet. We cook. Grocery shop. Play music. Play a team sport (sponsored by the BOE). Attend ikebana 　いけばな(flower arranging) class -- my favorite! Read. Surf the internet. Play cards. Eat out at the sushi-go-round. If it isn't blizzarding, we walk. I find that our quiet evenings help balance out the extreme challenges that face me in my work world; it isn't that the job is difficult, but that understanding what is required of me is the challenge.

On the weekends we often travel to meet friends or explore more of Hokkaido. Commiserating and celebrating with foreigner friends helps keep us sane. There are a lot of parties keeping our calendar filled a month in advance.

So there is a description of "a day in the life"! I am hoping that we will find this year to be as rewarding as it has been challenging. (Cuz gawd, I hope we have no more significant challenges!) Cheers!

Pity Party

All right, I'll just be out with it. In the past months of blog posts, I have tried to avoid outright complaining. "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." Notice those longs stretches when I posted nothing but political analysis news articles? I was trying to keep my mouth closed and my blog relatively positive, so that I can look back on this time with rosy nostalgia. What an adventure for the young couple! How interesting and exciting, for Teresa to have an opportunity to explore yet another continent! What a fascinating experience, to live in Asia at a time when much of the world's economic and intellectual resources are shifting eastward!

I could do a post outlining the scientific studies on "culture shock", which is considered a valid and real experience for emmigrants. I certainly have considerably more empathy and respect for those who endeavor emmigration to America. English is a near-indescipherable language and most Americans' outright aggressiveness would be a shock (and will probably be challenging for us, when we go through "reverse culture shock"). My opinions have solidified about the dubiosity of legalizing an official "national language". The truth is, migration happens for many reasons and immigration will increase dramatically in the coming decades, due to economic inequalities, environmental climactic change, and warfare. It will be a major factor in the 21st Century, and we should make the most of it.

All that being said, I am tired. I am tired of my heart being stretched by sending love-messages across oceans. I am tired of constantly asking myself, in the face of cultural differences, "should I change to accommodate, or hold steady to my own culture?" I am tired of a year filled with the most significant (and disparate!) health issues in my life. I miss natural foods stores. I am tired of bad beer, white bread, and processed cheese. I am tired of being asked "How long will you stay in Japan?" -- i.e., when will you leave? I am tired of Japanese pop -- wait, no, I still think J-pop is hilarious. . . But I am tired of paying $200/month for a heating bill and still seeing my breath indoors. I am tired of feeling so indebted to my supervisor, who sacrifices so much to help illiterate-helpless me. I miss worshiping and singing in spiritual community. And I am so so so sad to be far away from my family and friends, who have had to wave goodbye to me on all these crazy adventures.

The Wisdom of a Child

Recipe: Gyoza

Another recipe, perfect for a party or a long winter night. This was a fun project with a delicious end. Enjoy!

Vegetarian Gyoza

1/2 head of diced cabbage
2-3 stalks of diced green onions
1 raw egg
4-6 oz mushroom, sauteed
3 tsp red pepper or chili powder
3 tsp minced fresh garlic or garlic powder
3 tsp salt/pepper
1 block hard tofu, drained and pressed
50-100 gyoza wrappers
oil

1. Put cabbage, green onion, egg and tofu in a bowl. Mix thoroughly.
2. Slowly add the dry ingredients and mix well.
3. Wrap gyoza: place a teaspoon of mixture in the centre, folding up the two opposite sides and then press the edges together firmly so the mixture cannot spill out.
4. For best taste, cook on a lightly-oiled teflon pan until browned. Then add about a cup of boiling water, cover and steam for another 2-3 minutes or until the water is gone.

Arrrg.

My friend Mad(eline) has a very clever blog to which I would like to draw your attention. The link is here to the right: "Mushroom City". Good stuff. Very descriptive of our day-to-day life on the job here. Japan is crazy.

My rants are less clever-funny than hers, but I think perhaps we share similar frustrations. Frankly, sometimes I am appalled.

Last week my orthopedist, Dr. Birkenstocks Tightpants, decided to put on my hard cast. We had been delaying that process because of a nasty wound on the top of my foot, the result of being dragged over a rough wooden bridge. But we put the hard cast on, finally, so that I could return to teaching in schools; it wasn`t safe for me to run about the city with a splint and an open wound. Well, the wound wasn`t quite healed when he put on the cast. So he put a bandage on my foot, under the cast, and drew a little box on the top of the cast. The plan was for me to return to the hospital yesterday, to see another doctor, who would change the bandage inside my cast. What fun.


Yesterday morning I arrived to the hospital early. Furano has a nice shiny clean new hospital with multiple stories and English signage and lots of people scurrying about. There is even a little vending machine, near the front door, to purchase your anti-microbial paper face mask. And a Lawson`s convenience store in the hospital, in case a patient gets the munchies. すごい! I went for X-rays (weekly), and this time didn`t need to remind the X-ray tech to give me a lead apron. He`s getting to know me. Apparently using a protective lead apron is not a standard offering to most patients. After X-rays I visited the crazy accessible restroom (Japanse toiletrooms and bathrooms are so different, and very strange).


And then I was wheeled into my appointment. For about a half-hour a nurse huffed and puffed over my cast, trying to saw open a tiny square of plaster over the bandaged wound. She used the saw and pliers; I prayed fervently that she wouldn`t accidentally stab me, and attempted breathing exercises to calm myself. My heart raced and my palms sweat. Thanks bejesus, she finally finished her task and I had a small box open around the wound. Ew -- I'll spare you from that pic. The inner bandage was hastily changed by a new physician, Dr. Chubby Noeyecontact. When I asked him about the weakness and pain I am still experiencing in my left shoulder, he recommended exercise. Hmm.

A day later, my foot hurts even more, and the flakes of plaster are getting into the hastily-bandaged wound. I think the whole cast needs to be removed, and the bandage redone entirely. I asked my supervisor to call the hospital this morning, so that I can have the bandage properly redone today. Hemming and hawing. I don`t quite understand why things are so difficult here. . . After an hour and a half of deliberation, my sup called the hospital and heard they cannot see me today but that I can come in tomorrow. Tell me, why can a hospital not see me?! Because I am telling the doctor that he needs a do-over? Because the hours of operation are limited? Because some committee needs to meet and write up a report about my bandage, prior to my next appointment? Arg.

All of this would be a lot more fun if they gave me some decent pain medication. Mom gets perkaset for her knee, and I get the equivalent of children`s tylenol.

Hokkaido Winter Beauty

A view of Furano and the ski slopes.

Torinuma Park


A temple in town.



Yamabe Junior High students' skis, waiting for the afternoon group ski lessons on the slopes.


A farm in Nunobe.


A small shrine in Nunobe. Notice the tractor covered in snow!

Singing

Voice still and small,
deep inside all,
I hear you call, singing.
In storm and rain,
sorrow and pain,
still you remain singing.
Calming my fears,
quenching my tears,
through all the years, singing.

-Words and music by John Corrado



Singing is good for me. It gets my blood moving, allows me to use my voice at full volume (which is LOUD), and reminds me to "play well with others". Although I am untrained and not extremely skilled at it, I feel better when I participate in creating music.

This week we recorded the English version of a song called "Make a Forest", which will be used for the G8 Summit in Hokkaido this summer. A fun challenge! Nick helped write the English lyrics for the song. Two local teachers did an amazing job playing piano and guitar. I hope the end result is good enough for the wide exposure that it is slated to have!

Japanese Work Culture, an Update

I`m learning, but I do not like what I am learning. Apparently the situation I am in is not unusual in Japanese culture. Although I have felt threatened and isolated recently, I am learning that this does not need to be the case; they do not have anything against me as an individual. My office has been very clear that they will NOT help me get to work, and that I must give proliferate and profound apologies for the inconvenience of my injury. I was forced to promise that I will pay for TAXIS to and from schools (prohibitively expensive), although previous to the injury I drove the work car every day. Bewilderingly, ever since I promised that I would pay they have been giving me rides to schools. I am so confused. . .

From what I now understand, the Japanese cultural rule is this:

If one is injured at work or school, then the school or employer will assist the injured person, including paying for medical expenses and anything else needed. (Similar to our "worker`s compensation".)

If one is injured outside of work or school, whether on vacation or just after hours, then the school or employer is not obligated to provide any assistance at all. The injured person must do everything "by one`s own strength" -- and expense. The injured person must be responsible, and apologetic, for any inconvenience the injury might cause anyone else. Shame and suffering are side-effects of any off-the-clock injury. In this culture, the good of the group holds primacy over any individual experience. Of course there are benefits to this system of community-over-individual, but the system is a challenging shock to this American girl.

Now that I am returning to schools (hooray!), people are kind and sympathetic. Kids, especially, are sensitive and helpful. But, I do notice that when people hear the story of my injury, they break eye contact when they know it was off-the clock. (Why would anyone stop working?) Especially because I was out of the country. (Why would anyone ever wish to go outside Japan?) It is likely my interpretation of their reaction is over-sensitive and inaccurate; the result of what feels like a month of severe beatings and prostrations. Certainly, I have lost my rose-tinted glasses.

The positive is that my wounds ARE healing. My two broken bones are fusing quickly. The top of my foot has almost finished growing new skin, and my elbow and shoulder are getting better. This hard cast on my foot will be off on February 12. Nick's hip is also healing and he has almost no pain. We are on the mend!

Cervical Cancer Screening Month

On a long list of stresses for me right now, the time approaches when I need to return to the doctor for another cancer checkup. (See my November 3 blog post, "Cervical Dysplasia: How to Heal", for more details.) Please keep me, and my cervix, in your prayers.

This is from the good people at Planned Parenthood:



This is your cervix writing.

I know, you might've forgotten I existed until you got this e-mail just now (what with vagina and clitoris always hogging all the attention). I bet you wouldn't even recognize me if you saw me — me, your very own cervix!

Well, that's exactly why my pals at Planned Parenthood have a few ideas for you on how to show me some love. They've been helping women screen against cervical cancer for decades, and right now they're offering a few easy ways you can take care of yours truly (or, for you guys out there, how you can make sure your sisters, spouses, daughters, and friends stay healthy, too):

Top Three Ways to Love Your Cervix
(or the Cervix of Someone You Love)

1. Get a Pap test. I know, I know, this seems obvious. But think about it: When WAS your last Pap test? Start taking care of it this very moment. It couldn't be more important, and Planned Parenthood couldn't make it easier for you to find your nearest health center and make an appointment. Please don't put it off; you owe me a Pap and a cervical cancer screening at least once a year: Make your appointment now.

2. Get the HPV vaccine. You may have heard about this one in the news — well, now it's time to take advantage of it. Protect me from the types of human papilloma virus (HPV) responsible for 70 percent of all cervical cancer cases, not to mention genital warts. Check out these YouTube videos to learn more about me, HPV, and the HPV vaccine.

3. Have safer sex. Okay, duh. But seriously, when I say safer, I mean using protection every time. Add HPV and cervical cancer to the long list of reasons why safer sex is sexier sex, and remember: your cervix cannot protect you, so please protect your cervix. Find out more about protection and safer sex here.

Did I mention making your appointment — now?

Happy National Cervical Cancer Screening Month!

Love,
Your cervix